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Jonathan HellandIn writing their college application essays, students will often have the opportunity to share their weaknesses. This can seem dangerous or foolish—after all, one would assume colleges would prefer students who have no weaknesses. But that’s not true—there is no such thing as a student without weaknesses, there are only students who are honest, open, and aware of their weaknesses and students who are aren’t. Reframed in this way, which do you think colleges really prefer?
It is common in American job interviews for employers to ask, “what is your greatest weakness?” It has become something of a joke because there are so many ways people try to use this question to make themselves more appealing. “I work too hard.” “I’m a perfectionist.” These are real flaws, but they’re flaws an employer would be happy to exploit, so from their perspective they’re actually strengths.
That’s not what I’m talking about here. This gambit of pretending to talk about a weakness when you’re really talking about a strength is painfully transparent. Colleges want students who are thoughtful and reflective and who are willing to be open and vulnerable.
A few essay prompts specifically ask students about their weaknesses and failures. This prompt for the Common App Personal Statement, for example:
“The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”
Or this one from the University of California essay prompts:
“Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?”
There are two obvious temptations here: 1. to use prompts like this to talk about your successes, or 2: to use these prompts to try to explain or justify poor grades. Neither of these are, in my opinion, the best approach. Doing the first will seem either arrogant or dishonest, and doing the latter can feel whiny and self-serving.
Treating your weaknesses as weaknesses, on the other hand, can send some stronger messages. It shows qualities that colleges appreciate:
Maturity/Wisdom
Being aware of your own short-comings and being willing to acknowledge them requires introspection, self-awareness, and the self-confidence to know your value despite those flaws. These are all qualities of a mature young adult.
Someone who can see their own flaws will come off as more insightful and thoughtful. Such qualities are essential to success in education and in life.
Vulnerability/Openness
When admissions personnel read application essays, they’re hoping to learn about the student as an individual. They want to get to know you.
A person who only talks about their strengths will always come across as if they’re playing a part. Like they’re trying to show you only the part of who they are, or worse, pretending to be something more than they are. Because nobody’s perfect and application readers know that.
The most emotionally powerful essays are those that show a willingness to be vulnerable, to be seen as we really are. Honestly confronting weaknesses is a good way to show that vulnerability (and incidentally, one of the reasons I do not recommend that parents read their children’s application essays—it’s very difficult for teenagers to be vulnerable in front of their parents.)
Growth
And finally, someone with genuine weaknesses is someone who has room for growth. Someone who has done the wrong thing or failed in some significant way, but has recognized their failures and learned from them, is someone who will continue to learn and grow and changes. And learning and growing are the reason colleges exist.
Instead of merely telling the reader about your strengths (and risking being seen as arrogant), being open with your weaknesses allow you to show all the above strengths in a way that’s hard to deny.